In tantra the woman has the status of guru and the man of disciple. The tantric traditional is actually passed on from the woman to the man. In the tantric practice, it is the woman who initiates. It is only by her power that the act of sex takes place. All the preliminaries are done by her. She puts the mark on the man’s forehead and tells him where to meditate. In ordinary interaction the man takes the aggressive role and the woman participates, but in tantra they switch roles. The woman become the operator and man her medium, she has to be able to arouse him. Then, at the right moment, she must create the bindu so he can practice vajroli. If the man loses his bindu, it means that the woman has failed to carry out her functions properly.
According to the tantric concept, women are more endowed with spiritual qualities and it would be wise if they were allowed to assume higher positions in social affairs. Then there would be greater beauty, compassion, love and understanding in all spheres of life.
In tantra, the practice of sex is said to be the easiest way to awaken sushmana because it involves an act which most people are already accustomed to. However, frankly speaking, very few are prepared for this path. Ordinary sexual interaction is not maithuna. The physical act may be the same, but the background is totally different.
Both partners must be absolutely purified and controlled internally and externally before they practice sex. This is hard for the ordinary person to comprehend because for most people, sexual interaction is the result of passion and physical or emotional attraction, either for progeny or pleasure. It is only when you are purified that these instinctive urges are absent.
If this is not clear when you practice the kriyas, and sushmana becomes active, you will not be able to face the awakening. You will not be able to control the passion and excitement because you have not tranquillized your brain. Therefore, you must utilize this path as a vehicle of awakening otherwise it becomes a path of downfall